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And a Merry Booze Cruise to you, too

 
Andrew Flint takes a sideways look at the tax world
 
A large man in a red suit and sporting luxuriant white whiskers has been stopped at Dover by officers of Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs. He has been selected for HMRC's new holistic 360 degree no-preservatives-or-additives enabling natural-remedy treatment for customers who find themselves unable to display the appropriate passion for taxpaying.
 
HMRC officer: Now then … (consulting his papers) … Mr Christmas is it?
 
FC: That's right although I am also known by other names: Santa Claus Kris Kringle Julemanden Pere Noel Weihnachtsmann Joulupukki Daidi na Nollaig Babbo Natale Viejo Pascuero Vader Kersfees Baba Chaghaloo Deda Miraz Saint Nick...

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